To Come Home to Yourself

May all that is unforgiven in you,
Be released.

May your fears yield
Their deepest tranquilities.

May all that is unlived in you,
Blossom into a future,
Graced with love.

-John O’Donohue

Pause:

We all mis-step, step out of our intention, and make mistakes. Self-forgiveness creates a path to growth and options. When in self-judgment about a decision, action, or behaviour, lack of forgiveness does not give you the space to practice something new. To allow for shift and change. This is not a call for absolution but an invitation for evolution. Responsibility not redemption. 

Consider:

Perhaps consider distinguishing between punishment and forgiveness. Are you being responsible for your behaviour without judging your soul, your being?  Remaining stuck in self-torment does not allow for softening and, in fact, can actually stop us from practicing options for change. The ability to forgive yourself and demonstrate new action at the same time is an example of Emotional Wisdom.

Reflect:

All this can begin with an easy (not always simple) release of guilt, shame and blame. Do not read this as a release of responsibility. In order to invite your own maturity you might consider cultivating remembrance over punishment. Remember how an action may have been incongruent with your intention. Remember how that impacted another. Remember how it made you feel. Now what might be the best next step to serve your own growth?

Read the poem again:

Kindness, whether for self and for other, begins within. In the tranquility of a moment of pause you may find the perspective to discern between punishing yourself (attached to a truth) and releasing feelings like guilt or fear so that you may see your humanity as sacred, as flourishing and growing. It is in the field of forgiveness that you may cultivate this self-evolution and practice the kind of presence and engagement that impacts your relationships with others in a way that supports them to grow as well.